Blog Reflection

I was not excited about having to keep a blog for this class. I didn't like the idea of other people reading my writing, no matter how good or bad it is. I was really reluctant at first. The biggest thing that changed my mind with blogging though were the free writing assignments that we had to do for warm UPS and essays. First of all, practicing the free writing helped me with me essays a lot, especially with the brainstorming part. Sometimes my biggest struggle in writing is just getting started. Free writing was a great way for me to try to fix that. Another reason that I enjoyed free writing is because it helped me gain comfort with blogging. The more I wrote, the less awkward I felt about the whole situation. I never wrote anything that I felt needed to stay private or anything like that, but I still felt weird, so free writing helped me over come that. I also enjoyed the blogs of other students. It gave me a chance to get to know some of my classmates better. I really liked some of the blogs that other students posted, plus it gave me ideas on some of my future blog posts. The discussion board in our online class was very helpful with that as well. Sometimes I just couldn't think about anything on the spot and going to the discussion board or other people's blogs helped with that. After seeing other people's thoughts, I realized that there was so much to say, so many topics that I could have written about, so I felt silly when I had a mind blank. Overall, this assignment has helped me in the subject of English. I feel as though I have gained a bit more confidence with the writing process as a whole, and I have a new respect for writers, bloggers, and journalists who do this every single day. I realize that they enjoy it, and that is wonderful, but I'm sure even they get tired sometimes and yet they still push through it and write, every day.

Smell

Smell is the hardest thing to describe. Unless its food related, it’s hard to compare smells when describing them to someone. The scents that stood out to me at the abandoned amusement park were the leaves, pond, and stony smells. The wood smelled too; on the buildings. Oh, but the house, it was very distinct, I forgot about that. The stone of the house had a nature like smell to it, as it was covered in vines and such. But the inside is what stood out the most. The dilapidation of the home caused the place to have an old scent. The furniture was cloth, so it smelled moldy from stagnant air and dust settling. The dust was very apparent to all of the senses. You could smell it in the air, and when approaching something closely, it would make you sneeze. Outside there was that fresh air scent, and I remember being glad that I could breathe easier. You could tell that the wood was painted a candy brown on top of the original darker brown that was the natural wood, so it smelled like old paint when we approached the old game stands.  These stands surrounded the pond. The closer we got to the water, the more we smelled the moss and dirt that had taken over. You know how some places have that earthy smell? That’s what I thought of when we reached the pond, it smelled like the earth rather than the water. The watery smell came when the rain fell. Once it started raining, the humidity lifted and everything we were smelling altered slightly, just as the feeling of everything changed. It seemed like the leaf and grass smells were stronger once it started raining. Like everything was amplified because of the water that was falling on it.

Feeling

Touch is probably my favorite of the five senses. I love feeling things and noticing the different textures. My family always laughed because I had to touch everything as a child. That has definitely carried over into adulthood. In the train yesterday, for example, I felt the seats that looked different to see how the material felt different from each other. Then I touched the window to see if it was hot or cold since it was a cooler day yesterday. I felt the air coming through the slit in between the two rail cars and the dust that settled on the machinery in the same area; it gave the metal boxes a rough texture. So of course, when we hiked through the remains of Dogpatch, I had to touch everything, just like I did when I was a child. On the way down the drive I ran my hands through the tall grasses to feel them brushing against my skin. I would stop quite often to feel a leaf that looked smooth or a cluster of flowers that looked interesting. I felt the rocks that made up the building of the caretaker’s house. Part of them were smooth, a few were rough. I’m not sure if they were made that way or if they were weathered down after forty or so years of standing. The wooden doors were warped and rough against my fingertips, but the doorknob was still smooth. Inside, the air felt thick from dust that continuously builds up and never gets a chance to be blown around. I really enjoyed feeling the moss and plants that surrounded the pond. It was so thick that it held up small items without them falling into the water, but it is moss, so it was still damp. Some of the lichen that built up around the rocks of the pond’s edge was completely dry. It flaked when I touched it, just like the paint on the walls of the house and the breaking wood of the game stands. When it rained I felt everything in a totally different way. Everything was slick and some things were slimy. A strange feeling.

Sound

I know Springfield isn't a big city, but we still have some of the city feel when it comes to sounds. The cars driving by, especially on the highway, occasional sirens and horns going off, crowds of people in the shopping malls, etc. So the first thing I notice in regards to sound when I set foot in Dogpatch USA is silence. Compared to Springfield, it was silent. I was trying my hardest to be quiet too. I'm not sure why, maybe because the rest of the area was quiet; I didn't want to disturb the peace. On closer inspection, though, I realized that there were all kinds of sounds going on. They were just more natural sounds. Birds mainly, they would chirp and screech as they flew overhead. Sometimes I could hear the mumbling chirps of a bird sitting near the place we had walked past. The frogs on the pond were quite noisy as well. Not only did they make their gurgling sounds and deep throated calls, but they hopped into the water with a satisfying splash that could be heard from some distance. Since the amusement park was right next to what used to be a main highway, we did hear a car pass by us sometimes. Not very often though. My favorite sound was the rustle of the leaves and the rain. When we arrived there, it was hot and muggy, but there was a slight breeze that would move the tree branches and leaves, creating a uniform rustle. About an hour into our walk, it started to rain. Not a heavy rain, but a steady, light rain. It was so serene. The animals quieted with the coming of the rain, besides the frogs, but the sound of the frogs with the rustling leaves and soft rain was a wonderfully peaceful combination.

Brainstorming List

- Pythian Castle
- Ponca, Arkansas trails
- Dogpatch USA
- Parkview High School
- Hudson River State Hospital
- Nathaniel Greene Park
- White Chappell Memorial
- New York, New York
- Kansas City Haunted Houses
- Pensacola, Florida
- Rush, Arkansas
- Princeton
- Albion
- Liberty/ Ellis Island

Sight

The first thins you see when you walk into Dogpatch is trees and vines closing in on the narrow cement driveway. It's a fairly long walk, but the greenery is pretty. To the left there is a small, rock house, probably belonging to the previous caretaker. It too has vines creeping up the sides. The downstairs window is broken; vandals, I'd assume. The steps that lead up to the front door are covered in brown dirt, leaves, and blue-tinted glass from the shattered door window. Inside the furniture remains, still and drooping from years of stagnancy. A fine dust has gathered on the canned foods that were left in the kitchen cabinets. The dilapidation is apparent in the peeling paint on the walls and the sagging ceiling. Once you leave the dim light of the house, you are blinded by the sun once more as you make your way up the cement walkway that leads to the pond, which is the center of the theme park. Surrounding the pond in close proximity are wooden buildings that look like they used to house game stands and the like. Further out you can see the remains of the rides that were popular in the late eighties; the old water slide towers above everything else, followed by the trolley and rails that once lead up to the roller coaster. The pond itself is green. One of the brightest, and lightest, greens I have ever seen. The culprit is moss. So thick you could probably place your tennis shoes on it and they would not touch the water. It is buzzing with life. All sorts of creatures live in the pond now; frogs, fish, bugs, etc. The wreck center near the game stands still hold some tables and chairs, though most have been knocked over, broken and painted on. Every window that the building held had been shattered at one point or another in the 12 years that the place lay abandoned, so the floor to the large cafeteria and kitchen were glittering with the blue tinted glass. There was even still old food in the giant walk in coolers. On the grounds, the rides lay rusting, what little rides were left anyway. I'm sure most, like the roller coasters, were taken down at the closing of the amusement park. The water slide and trolley remained, as did some of the boats used for bumper boats. Only two of the bumper boats remained above water. The rest were sank or sinking in the pond. The faded reds, blues, and yellows were a testament to how vibrant the park was before it's financial demise in '92.

Trains vs Planes

I can't decide which way I prefer to travel: via plane or train. Both are very exciting. Our flights down were interesting, the first lane was tiny and smelled bad; there wasn't a lot of leg space or a need for flight attendant service due to the small size. The second plane, though, was bigger, a smoother ride, had more leg room and awesome stewardess services. On both flights my favorite part was not the accommodation, but the views. It is so neat seeing everything from a bird's eye view. The take off is exhilarating and the landing is fun to judge how well the pilot does. The two train rides we took today were similar to our planes. The first train was incredibly smooth and fast. There wasn't really much of a space difference between the two, and no type of services, which is fine. The second train was loud and bumpy. We sat towards the back of our car, so you could see the car behind us and where it connected. It was crooked. Every time the train would turn or act like it hit a bump the car behind us would slam into ours. But, like with the plane, I really enjoyed the views. I like seeing all of the hills and trees whip past the windows, and then all of the tall buildings once we came out of the tunnel that went under the Hudson River. And as freaky as it was, the connection between the cars was interesting to watch. So there are some parts of riding on a plane and a train that I like, and some that I don't. I certainly can't decide which is my favorite though. Hopefully, I will get to travel a lot in my future, and then I can take both ways of transportation often.

New York, New York

Today was our trip to New York City. I love the city. I have only been once before, when I was 12, so I was excited about going again so that I could actually remember things this time. Unfortunately... we only had one day to spend in the city instead of a solid week like we did when I was 12. The main attractions were the Empire State Building and the American Natural History Museum. We tried really hard to see the 9/11 memorial but you had to reserve a place in line, and we did not know that until we got to the museum, so we didn't get a chance to see it. The Natural history museum was wonderful for me; I love museums. My brother had a headache and there were a ton of junior high school groups there that were very noisy, so I'm sure that didn't help him. He enjoyed the Deep Sea exhibit and the African Wild Game exhibit. I think my favorites were the Origin of the Human and the Space/Astronomy exhibits. We got lucky at the Empire State building and happened to miss most of the crowds (we saw huge lines coming in as we were leaving). The elevator took you to the 80th floor. After that you could choose to walk up the stairs for the remaining six floors, or wait twenty minutes for the next elevator. We chose to take the stairs to save time. I definitely realized how out of shape I am because of that! Well worth it though; the view was amazing. After those visits, which took most of the day, we just wandered the city. We walked about twelve blocks to the huge Lego store for my brother, and ate hot dogs from the street vendors like true tourists. We walked through Central Park a bit, which was a vast difference than that of the city. We also accidentally made our way to Times Square. By the time we got to the square it was starting to get dark, so all of the street signs and advertisements were lit up. It was neat.

Princeton

After getting kicked out of the hospital, the family and I ventured to the town of Princeton, because my stepmom's boyfriend grew up there. He wanted to show us his old schools, hangouts, and homes. He also wanted to take us to the university. He said he knew that I liked old buildings and so did my brother, so he wanted to show us the college. It is known that Princeton is one of the oldest in the United States, and because of that, the buildings that make up the college are stunning. They are so elegant and detailed in the architecture. I felt like I was walking into the grounds of Hogwarts when we went through the front gate and saw all of the stone buildings. It seems like the builders cared so much about their final product, and that is evident in all of the small parts of the buildings. The windows have beautiful metal hinges and locks. The stone walkways are designed different at every building. The columns of the buildings, along with the walls of some, have gargoyles, angels and animals carved into the stone. Each one slightly different. Some of the buildings have Latin quotes and sayings carved into them, and others have dedications to previous educators and other important people. Even the gutters are fancy. They are copper, or some other dark metal, and the top part that catches the water is a different shape and design on each one. There are chimneys on every building, sometimes in multiples of two and three. Trees and bushes are everywhere, making the quad very relaxing. I am very jealous of all of the students that get to go there, just for the sights. I would love to wake up in the dorm and get to see historical buildings like that every day on my way to class.

New York

Two days ago, the family and I went to upstate New York to see the Hudson River State Hospital. It was about a two hour drive, but the scenery was beautiful. I was so excited to see the hospital. Built in 1871, it was home to over 3,000 patients inside 52 buildings and on 300 acres of land at its highest point in time. It  didn't start out that big though, over the years, buildings were added to it. It finally closed down in the 90's and was left abandoned in the early 2000's. As I've mentioned before, I love going exploring in abandoned structures with my boyfriend, so when given the opportunity to see this, I jumped on it. We were under the impression though, that it was free to go into; not patrolled or privately owned. We learned later that it was in fact privately owned and patrolled. No signs were posted though, so we just walked right through the front gate. The driveway was long, and over grown with trees and bushes, so we didn't see the buildings right away. Soon, though, you could see the largest of the 52 buildings towering over the trees. The closer we got, the more we saw. Eventually the road split, and we chose to walk to the right. Looking down that street, you could see the main building, where visitors were welcomed and where some of the more "normal" patients were housed. The building on the right was the dormitories for the employees; this was the first building we chose to go into. Of course, all of the doors were locked, but we did manage to find a window that had been broken by previous hoodlums. You could tell people went in and out a lot, because there was a chair on each side of the window. That's how we climbed in. The room we hopped into seemed to be a wreck room of sorts, with two old vending machines and some seating along the walls. Through the halls we went, coming to a large cafeteria. The paint was peeling and the wall paper was falling off, but you could still see all of the original colors and designs. The ceiling fans were turning slightly from the breeze coming through broken windows. Upstairs we found more narrow hallways and empty rooms. In the middle of the building was a large room that was primarily empty, save for a few miscellaneous items left behind. In the center of the room was a huge fireplace and chimney; the walls surrounding it had been knocked down, so that you could see straight down to the lower floors. Actually, you couldn't even see the bottom, it just faded to darkness. The ladder to the roof was skinny and rusted. The roof was soft and felt like it could fall in at any moment. Going back inside we went back downstairs, past the way we entered and into the basement. It was creepy. There was no light down there, so we used the flashlights. Pipes were falling down and electrical wires were coming out of their holdings in the walls. The floor had a layer of water and it was cold and damp. It felt like the setting for a horror movie. Other than the maintenance items, there was nothing in the basement, so we went back to the window to venture to another building. Further down the road, there was a more modern looking building, so we decided to look into it. Again, the doors were locked, only this time there were no windows in the building. So I found an entrance on the other side, a garage door, probably where trucks made their deliveries. It was flooded though. We were about to wade through the water when a car stopped and out came the site coordinator for the complex. He told us that we had one chance to leave, or he would call the cops. We were not there to cause problems, and I think he saw that, because he immediately apologized for sounding demanding and asked us what we were doing there. We told him that we thought it was government owned, but we were informed that seven months ago, a private owner purchased the place. He also said that he would have been more than happy to give us a tour, but that he couldn't legally, due to the asbestos in the buildings. So, unfortunately, we ended up leaving after only seeing one of the buildings. It was neat, though. There is a strange beauty in dilapidation, especially when the subject is so rich in history.

Vacation!

I am so excited for this week! We flew out yesterday, and that was a blast all on it's own. My brother and I are very close, so I could not have picked a better travel buddy. Once we got here we stayed up a few hours to talk to my stepmom and her new boyfriend, but then we went to bed, and passed out quick. She apologized over and over for not having anything planned for today, my brother and I were grateful and told her not to be sorry. Part of being on vacation is relaxing. We had both had a rough couple of weeks, and sitting all day with no obligations or work to get ready for is wonderful sometimes. Tomorrow the real fun begins though. I mentioned in a previous post that my boyfriend and I like to do the urban exploration, and I convinced my family to do some exploring with me this week. Tomorrow we are heading to upstate New York to explore the Hudson River Hospital, which has been abandoned for the past decade. After that we are going to an abandoned subway in New York. My boyfriend is definitely going to be jealous that he isn't seeing them! Later this week we are going to the beach and boardwalk, of course, what tourist would miss that? We also have a lot of family up here to visit. My aunt is supposed to teach us how to go crabbing one morning. We are driving to NYC for some fun one day and D.C. for the museums on another day. My brother is into cars, so at some point we will be going to a car museum for all of the old muscle cars. It's definitely going to be a fun week. I know I've been looking forward to this week since we decided to take the trip in December. I'm sure my brother has too.

Airplanes

Yesterday I took a flight from Springfield to Chicago, and then a connecting flight from Chicago to Philadelphia, where my stepmom picked me up to go to New Jersey. I am on vacation for 11 days. My little brother just turned 16, and he is taking the vacation with me. He has never flown before; I have only flown once before. I remember being terrified, because I am scared of heights, and that is a drastically high ride. Everyone always told me that it is completely different, but I never believed them. Of course, after taking that first flight I realized that they were right, and I loved flying. So this time around I was excited; no nerves what so ever, just excitement. My brother, however, was terrified. For the same reasons that I was when I flew for the first time. He tried to play it off cool, but once we were on the plane he started looking a bit nervous. Once the engines started, he looked panicked. I just smiled and told him that he would love it once the initial fear wore off. He wondered why I didn't say "It'll be ok" or something else comforting. I guess I'm not good with comforting, because I told him that no matter what I say, the fear will still be there, until you actually go through the experience and see for yourself that it really is ok. Once we took off and were in the air he relaxed and we had a blast. I warned the surrounding passengers that we were your average tourists and were going to take full advantage of the situation to be touristy. That meant a lot of pictures. We had fun with it though and ended up being goofy enough to get other passengers involved. We even had everyone trading phones to take pictures out of each other's windows. I loved it. I loved the experience of flying in the tiny Springfield plane and then switching to a jumbo sized one in Chicago. I loved navigating the airports and the thrill of rushing to find our terminals on time. I loved looking out and seeing how close the clouds were; so close I felt like I could stick out my arm and touch them just like I always tried to do to the leaves of trees while driving in the car. I loved seeing the tiny cities and trying to make out the different plots of land. I will never understand how people can go on a flight and immediately shut the window to sleep or read a magazine. Don't get me wrong, I love reading (and sleeping), but I would never miss the opportunity to see the world at that height.

Late Entries

I am certainly late with my daily entries for the blog assignment. I have not found it as easy as it sounds. Life got in the way. I am now sitting at my step mother's house in New Jersey, as I have left Springfield yesterday to begin my almost two week vacation. I needed this. I could not wait for this. The five or six days before leaving for Jersey were hectic though, and it made my blog go to the back burner. I am in the middle of a job transfer for another promotion. I am very excited for that. I definitely needed the promotion so that I can move back to Springfield again. I miss living there. Due to the transfer and promotion though, I am working at two different locations, both full time hours. That's forty hours a week at two jobs, so eighty a week total. That means it's hard to do homework as soon as I get off work. The sleeping schedule is already messed up and it's been rough, adding homework to that makes it worse. I will attempt to catch up while I am on vacation though. I don't mind doing school work even though I am supposed to be vacationing, I like learning and could use the assistance with my writing anyway. Also, it's not like I won't have any down time while I'm up here. There will just be multiple posts for the same day, but each one will be for what should have been the previous post days.

Credo

I believe in knowledge. I believe that learning will make a life better. That gaining knowledge will improve the world. The old saying goes "knowledge is power"; and that is so true. Those who have knowledge can become the supervisors, they can become the teachers and doctors and politicians. I am convinced that you can't get anywhere in this world without money unless you are intelligent. You need to learn to gain intelligence. Being knowledgeable will help ease the pains that people have to go through with the material parts of life. It makes it easier to get a job and move forward in that job through the same positions or others. People will come to you with questions and concerns because they know that you most likely know the answer or that you will find out if you don't know. Knowledge is interesting. Being able to discuss the things that you learn with others is a good feeling, and actually knowing what you are talking about is an even better feeling. I enjoy learning and always look for ways to gain knowledge. I do not get upset or offended when others correct me, I take it as constructive criticism and fix my mistake, moving on after I have learned something. I believe that knowledge is a powerful tool that everyone should say they can use. I wish that everyone was impressed with knowledge. I wish that everyone took an interest in learning the way that I do, and took advantage of the many forms of education that is available in this age.

Birthdays

Friday, one of my sisters turned 21. Today, one of my brothers turned 16. I had a ton of fun celebrating with both of them all weekend, but I also felt sad that they were growing up so fast. I can't even imagine how parents must feel when their kids get to certain ages, especially when they are milestone ages. I am the oldest of 7, and have always been the second parent, and the babysitter, and (of course) the big sister, so another influence on them all. Because of that, I permanently see them as my "little" brother or sister. For them to be at those ages is just bazaar. I miss them all being so young. I'm sure my parents say that about them, and me too. I think it's because I don't see myself as ever being a parent, so I always just expect the younger siblings to stay little. I shouldn't feel too strange about it though, because I am an aunt now, and will be many more times, I'm sure. One good thing about having three brothers and three sisters is that there is bound to be a lot of nieces and nephews. I already have two of each. So it will be nice getting to see the milestones all over again, whether I am a parent or not.

Know Your Audience

I can honestly say that I enjoy taking online classes, but that the discussion posts and responses has always been my least favorite part of taking online classes. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed this last discussion on knowing your audience; that was the first time I had ever seen that many participants and responses on a discussion board for one topic. I loved answering all of the questions and seeing what everyone answered on mine. As far as asking the questions goes, I figured there would be some serious ones and some not so serious, so I was not surprised to see the variety. I was surprised though at some of the answers. I think that a lot of times people try to answer differently than their peers, for fear of getting less of a grade or maybe something else, but a lot of people stated that would have to agree with so and so. I liked that, because they weren't afraid to agree, and sometimes the things they were agreeing with were understandable statements. I don't think that these questions will change my style of writing, because as I have said before, I anticipated the differences. Had this been a specialized class or something, where everyone would have put similar questions or answers, I may have rethought how to write towards them as my audience. But since there is so much diversity, it allows me to write in different ways (if I could) or stay the same, which I probably will.  

NCNS

It is so frustrating having to do someone else's job because they didn't feel like showing up for work; and then having to listen to them make demands on what hours they want to work in the future. No. I am the manager, you wrote on your application that you could work any hours, any day. If I need the extra help and you can't come in on your day off or stay late, etch, that's fine, because it wasn't your scheduled shift. But do not constantly change your availability because you don't feel like working. If the schedule is already made, deal with it. I have no problem making changes every now and then if something comes up in your life that you didn't know about or forgot about, I'm not that difficult, but don't expect it all of the time, especially if you take advantage of the opportunities. You don't realize that when you call in, or just don't show up at all, without a phone call, like you did today, I'm the one that works those extra hours. Me or the assistant manager. I don't get overtime pay like you do. Neither does he. We work all of those extra hours to appease you and the rest of the staff, as well as to better serve the store. Do not take advantage of managers. Eventually we will decide that dealing with an unreliable and rude employee such as yourself is just not worth it. We will interview and hire someone to replace you. So please, next time, just come in, or at the very least, just leave a message as to why you can't be at work. Bring a doctors note... something. It's the very least you can do. Or even a thank you for covering your shift (multiple times) when you know I could be at home doing my class work or enjoying my day off too.



Fluency Journal/Blog Entry 2- 5/27/14

Online Classes

Online classes are much more time consuming than I thought they would be. I decided to take my classes online for the summer and for my last semester at OTC, which is in the fall, so that I could take the promotion offered to me at work. When asking other people who had taken online classes in the past about them, I was told that it was great when you have a busy schedule. It sounds good in theory, but I see now that it's not very good for me. I feel like I learn better in a sit- in environment. With online classes, it's easy to read the assignment, do it, and then forget what you have just learned. I have to really concentrate on what I am seeing. I can manage that though. The biggest problem I have noticed is the amount of busy work in online classes. Luckily, English classes are primarily essays, which I would rather do. Some of my other classes are just a bunch of multiple choice assignments though. That is where I get into the "look up the question in the textbook and move on" mindset. I get the good grade, but I don't necessarily learn anything. So then I have to go back and reread chapters so that I do well on exams. Sometimes there are so many of these quizzes and essays that overlap on due dates that I miss something. Since online classes are supposed to allow more freedom for the student, it is rare for a professor to take late work. I understand why they don't, but sometimes I wish they would, especially if the student is trying to keep a good grade. But I guess the professor can't always see that since it is online. I do enjoy that fact that I can do the work at any time of the day though. Hopefully the more online classes I take, the better I will be at navigating them.


Fluency Journal/Blog: Entry One- 6/26/13

This I believe

- I believe I am a kind person.
-I believe I can do well in my life.
- I believe Jackson and I will last longer than I could have ever expected.
-I believe I try to be a good student.
- I believe I am not very good at being an online student.
-I believe I pay more attention to being a manager than a student.
-I believe that I try too hard to please my family.
-I believe that my vacation to Jersey this summer will be amazing and much needed.
-I believe I can do better at managing my time to do homework and work.
-I believe books are better than movies.
-I believe traveling is a wonderful way to get "cultured".
-I believe everyone should have an open mind.
-I believe everyone should have the right to marry whom they choose.
-I believe cats are better than dogs! (I do love my dog, though)
-I believe Sonic's nerd slushy drinks are the best beverage of the summer.
-I believe hiking is a great way to get away from stress.
- I believe that everyone is capable of working out, they just make excuses to stay unhealthy.
-I believe thinking of these statements when "put on the spot", so to speak, is harder than I expected it to be.
-I believe in community enrichment and support.
-I believe choices are what get you to a certain point in your life, not fate.
-I believe putting yourself first sometimes will make you a happier person.
-I believe that orchestral instruments in rock music sound wonderful.
- I believe my ten minutes is up! Now on to the freewriting for ten minutes.

Statements done from 7:07 pm to 7:17 pm

Freewriting: I believe I pay more attention to being a manager than a student.

This is ironic. I love going to school and I love learning. I always said that school was one of the most important things to me in my life. Certainly more important than working. I moved out young and relied to heavily on a manager's paycheck though, so now I am tied to the job. Sure, I can cut more bills, but if I do that then I am stuck living in a neighborhood that looks crummy and could be dangerous. I am not brave in those situations, plus I don't think. I could handle some of the filth that comes with cheaper housing. I need to step down though. I work so many hours, and sometimes I don't get to my homework. This should never be a problem for me since I always said school was more important. What happened??? I hate working this much, though I do have an awesome work ethic; that is something I pride myself on. I just wish that carried over to homework. I always enjoy the lesson plans and readings, but when it comes down to actually doing the assignments, I get so tired and decide to finish laundry and go to bed. I can do it later, but then it's too late. It's so frustrating because I know my professors think I'm mediocre or average, maybe even below average. I used to do so well in school. High school was amazing in regards to my grades. And other things. I miss high school. I miss my old friends and all of the clubs and organizations I was involved in. That's another reason I don't like working so many hours. Fifty plus hours a week on top of classes does not leave room for any type of socialization or volunteering. If only I got paid to read books. I could do that job. The library requires a degree though... which I'm obviously still working on. Catch 22 here. Thank goodness for Jackson. He is a huge stress reliever. He always keeps me motivated and on track. I seriously don't know how I would stay sane without him. This feels like a journal entry. A really badly thought out entry with no filter. I really hope this blog stays private... I have never blogged before though, so I have no idea what it all consists of or how to make it private. Oh well, I suppose I'll find out soon enough. Two more minutes. I really have written a lot more than I thought I would. Getting back on topic, I really wish more jobs worked around school, or paid more so that I wouldn't have to rely on manager's pay or working two jobs to live on my own. Hopefully someday soon Jackson and I can make plans to move in together, that way we can split all of the bills and neither of us will have to work as much. It has come up in discussion before, hopefully it becomes a more serious discussion soon. I could use the assistance and we would have so much fun together. And like I said, he's a good motivator to do well. Over my ten minutes now.